


The Soul Twist

by Oiranaru



Category: Mario & Luigi RPG (Video Games), Super Mario Bros.
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-13
Updated: 2013-02-13
Packaged: 2017-11-29 04:35:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/682835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oiranaru/pseuds/Oiranaru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would happen if Bowser decided to enter one of the pipes that led to inside his own body?  Just my take on the matter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Soul Twist

Bowser swam round Blubble Lake, lost. He hated water - he didn't know why people  _swam_  in it. Why? Water was made for  _drinking_ , people!

 _Didn't realise_ I  _could swim, though..._  he thought, pleased with this discovery.  _Although I am doing doggy-paddle...gah...so embarrassing..._

He noticed another one of those pink seashells on the lake floor. He didn't understand why each one of them had a sort of steam geyser underneath. Did they all just land conveniently on them? Also, why were they PINK and HUGE? Seashells definitely weren't either of those things last time Bowser checked. But that had been when he was young...ah well. He stepped onto the pink seashell and waited for its usual take-off.

Nothing happened.

 _What?_ Bowser thought.  _Have I got too heavy for it or something?_ Suddenly, the seashell rumbled.  _Ah, there we go! Hold on...this rumble is much stronger than nor-_ He didn't finish that thought as it was thrust into the back of his mind as he shot clean out of the water, way up high.  _Too_ high.

"WHAT THE-!" Bowser yelled, before he was falling. Down onto a part of Blubble Lake he had never seen.

 _Wait, is that a...pipe?!_ he thought just as he hit the ground. He got up, dazed but otherwise alright. He shook his head to clear the stars. He looked critically at the pipe. It was the usual Mushroom Kingdom pipe, blue in colour. Bowser wondered where it led.

 _I've always wondered how those plumbers can stand sliding down pipes..._  he mused. Then an idea popped into his head -  _wait, I could experience it! If I'll fit down it, at least..._  he eyed the pipe again. The lip was a good five feet off the ground.  _Gonna be hard getting up there_...

So, after much scrambling, he finally managed to hoist himself onto the pipe top. A robotic voice suddenly said:

" **Two people detected. Pipe lift going down,** " Bowser fumed.

"Two people?! Are you saying I'm fat?!" he yelled at the pipe. The pipe didn't respond; the platform started to lower.  _You know what...this isn't half bad. I could get used to th-OW! What the heck was that?!_  Another sharp twinge.  _Wha-?_ It felt as though...as though his soul was being removed. With a howl, it detached itself, and all went black.

* * *

_Where...where am I?_  he thought groggily as he woke up. He heard something all around him.

" **Unidentified malfunction. Unidentified malfunction. Host has tried to enter host,** " it squawked. He recognised it as the pipe's metallic voice.

 _Unidentified...malfunction? What does it mean by that?_  he wondered. He tried to figure it out, taking in his surroundings. There were a heck of a lot of pipes about, and behind him was a blue one.  _I must've come out of that one,_  he realised. In front of him, over a gap, was a green pipe and a black pipe. Also, he could see what looked like an open air valve above the black pipe, on a blue platform. Bowser tried to figure out where he was, but was interrupted by a voice below him:

"OK! We're off to Blubble Lake!" it chirped happily. Bowser's eyes bulged slightly in shock as he recognised it.

 _Could that be..._ "Chippy?" he called hesitantly. A frustrated sigh echoed from where the voice had been heard from.

"What does the big lug want now...yes, Bowser?" the voice called. There was no doubt about it now; that was indeed Chippy's voice.

"Chippy! Where the hell am I?" he called back. Chipy called back, voice laced with annoyance:

"How the hell should I know?! I'm INSIDE you, doofus!" Bowser's eyes widened slightly. If she was inside him, then that meant...Oh God. His head was spinning.  _I'm...inside myself?_  he thought. He looked down at himself - and nearly shrieked in surprise.

He was a  _ghost_. Oh, his body was there, but he was wispy, see-through. Also he had no legs; just a wisp of steam. Swallowing, he called to Chippy again:

"If you're down there...then that means...I'm  _inside_ myself... There was a tense pause. Bowser could hear some hushed whispering; she was conversing with someone.

"Eh..." Chippy called back. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, dead sure!" he shouted. "I can hear you right below me!" Chippy and two others gasped.

"And we were about to enter that pipe..." he heard. Wait, WE?!

"We? I KNEW you had someone else in here! Tell me, Chippy! Who is it?" he called back, his voice stronger. He heard a gulp, then he saw something yellow peek it's head out from under the edge. It's eyes widened, then it ducked down below again.

"Oh my God!" he heard Chippy whisper. "He's...a g-g-ghost!" He heard someone squeal in fright, and someone else let out an exasperated sigh. Wait a godfosaken moment...he recognised those voices. He growled loudly.

"Don't tell me...that Mario and Luigi are down there with you, are they?!" he snarled. He heard Chippy gulp loudly.

"Uh...no, I don't! Who are they?" she called up, panic clearly present in her voice. Bowser grinned, flexing his wispy claws.

"I can hear the panic, Chippy. I'm coming down there now!" he called, floating over to the edge. Hey, this floating malarkey is easier than it looks, alright? He heard some more hushed whispering, before he dropped down from the ledge and faced her and the two others she was with. He was right - it was those red and green plumbers again. He growled at them and raised a claw, but then stopped. Mario and Luigi, who had adopted fighting stances, relaxed out of them, wondering what had made him stop.

"Oh crud..." he whispered. "I can't harm you as a ghost..." Mario and Luigi stared at him, then relaxed grins crossed their faces.

"Good thing you can't, Bowser. We need to stop Fawful," Mario said. Bowser growled at him.

"Excuse me, WE?! How the heck...Oh, wait, the pipes..." he sighed, defeated. Chippy smiled at him.

"Yup. The pipes. So we're gonna head off to them now, OK?" she asked kindly. Bowser just gave a shrug as if to say 'go ahead'. Chippy's smile grew wider, and she floated towards him, motioning for the brothers to follow. They did, speeding past her. Chippy stopped by Bowser.

"By the way..." she whispered in his ear. "My name's Starlow. Not Chippy," Bowser's eyes widened.

"You-! You were that star sprite at Peach's Castle!" he whispered back to her. Starlow just winked at him and sped off after Mario and Luigi. Bowser watched her go. So he had inhaled her as well...who else was in here?! A robotic voice rang out:

" **Pipe blocked. Obstruction blocking pipe** ," it said. Then it repeated it two times before falling silent. Mario turned round to Bowser, who had climbed up after them. He raised an eyebrow to the plumber.

"How the hell should I know what's blocking it?" he asked. Mario just sighed and shook his head. Luigi and Chi...er, I mean Starlow  _now_ , grinned at him.

"The lift must've stopped some way down the pipe, with your body still on it," she explained. Bowser blinked at her incomprehensibly. She sighed; "Look, your soul is down here, right?" Bowser nodded. "Then your body must still be up there - or all around us, so to speak," she finished. Bowser deciphered what she said, which took an agonising few minutes. Then he nodded slowly.

"So...I'm my soul?" he whispered, staring at his wispy claws. Luigi's grin grew wider.

"Yeah, you are. But you need to return to your own body for two reasons. One, so we can move on and two, so you can get back to stomping Fawful!" Bowser grinned viciously at him, flexing his claws.

"You're right...I've gotta get back out there!" he roared, plunging into the blue pipe. He twisted round as he did so, so he was staring back into the Pipe Zone. The last thing he saw was Mario, Luigi and Starlow all waving at him. He raised his claw to wave back, but was struck with an insurmountable amount of pain. He writhed in agony, then all went white.

* * *

Bowser slowly opened his eyes and looked around, blinking.

He was back in Blubble Lake. He gazerd round, drinking in the sights. He breathed deeply, grateful for the fresh air. He inspected his body. Yup, it was back, right up to the last claw. He grinned, flashing his sharp teeth. He tilted his head back and roared to the heavens, a stream of white hot flame leaping from his maw. He lowered his head after a few seconds and clenched his fists to his side, snarling into the air.

"Your dead meat, Fawful!" he roared. He punched forward twice, psyched up and ready to go. His psyching session was cut short by a familiar voice:

"OI! You gotta move it! You're blocking the pipe!" Starlow yelled at him from inside himself. He smiled and hopped off the pipe, landing with a bang. He heard an 'Oof!" inside him and his smile grew wider. Mario and Luigi had just fallen over from the shake.

"Don't do that again, Bowser! Alright?" Starlow said to him. Bowser's smile stretched yet wider; he drummed his chest with his fists. He heard yelling inside and someone screaming to him, "!" He did so. All lay silent inside him. Then, the lift to the pipe started to lower. Bowser turned to it, a sadistic grin plastered to his face. Then, he had a better idea. He hid behind the pipe, crouched low.

 _Luigi will flip,_  he chuckled inwardly. The pipe lift returned, with Mario and Luigi on it. They hopped off of it - and Bowser leapt out from behind the pipe, letting out a loud, deep-throated roar. Luigi let up  _extremely_  high and landed in the lake. He thrashed about, yelling and screaming for his life. Mario turned around to the Koopa King, who was doubled up with laughter.

"Oh God...your brother is  _priceless_..." he guffawed, slapping his knees. Mario just raised an eyebrow befroe turning back round to greet a soaking wet Luigi.

"B-Bowser!" he spluttered through chattering teeth. "Wha-what was that for?" Bowser finished laughing and straightened up, grinning at the shivering green plumber.

"Just a bit of fun," he chuckled. Mario glared at him, and Starlow came out from deep within the folds of his overalls. She smiled sympathetically at Luigi.

"Aw, look! You're freezing..." she said, drifting closer to him. Her star antennae flashed; she tapped Luigi with it. All the moisture instantly vanished from him, and his shivers slowed, then stopped. He smiled gratefully at the female star sprite.

"Thanks, Starlow!" he said brightly. Starlow smiled warmly at him.

"No worries, Luigi. Star Sprite Drying Service is here 24/7," she replied, taking a mock bow (by which I mean swooping down and ducking her head, before rising back up). The Mario Brother's grinned at her, then turned back to Bowser, who was watching all this with an easy smile on his face. Mario put on a mask of mock horror.

"What's this? Our arch-nemesis isn't attacking?" he gasped. Bowser glared at him.

"I...don't wanna. Plus, I don't stand a chance against you three...as you proved back in Dr. Toadley's clinic..." he muttered to himself. Mario grinned at his arch-nemesis.

"Oh, and Bowser?" Luigi said. Bowser looked at him; Luigi withdrew the first Star Cure from his pocket. Bowser's eyes bulged.

"That's-!" the Koopa King spluttered. Luigi laughed and pocketed the Star Cure.

"Yup, the first Star Cure. Wisdurm was  _inside_  you, Bowser! From that Giga-Carrot you ate," Luigi explained. Bowser 'hmphed' and sat down on the floor, crossing his arms and giving Luigi a 'I-don't-care' look.

"No fair...how was I gonna get  _inside_  myself?" he whined. Luigi motioned at the blue pipe. Bowser stared at it.

"Yeah...but I didn't know what would happen before I tried it, did I?" the Koopa King said exasperatedly. The trio just laughed before leaving him there, chatting excitedly to each other. Bowser watched them go.

 _This adventure just got a heck of a lot more interesting..._  he thought to himself.


End file.
